So yesterday was going great until negative thoughts tried to overcome me. Now I already know to take the captive and make them obey Christ, but I must have thought I could just fight them off yesterday by trying to ignore them. WRONG!! It started getting worse as the day progressed and instead of speaking to them (Yes, even out loud) and instead of praying and reading God’s word, the “screaming” got too loud and I begin to feel different emotionally. I was getting angry at something that was really nothing.
PAST: While dating my now husband and even in the beginning years of our marriage, I was… well…..CrAzY! I used to be a Lifetime Tv and Lifetime Movie Network freak…and up until 2007/08 I probably saw EVERY movie they ever played. You may ask what is wrong with movies on Lifetime. Well let me ask you this. Have you ever watched one of the “crazy” movies they play where it shows a good girl gone wrong, a crazy “friend” of the family tries to kill someone, a best friend steals a husband, or a spouse flirts with a coworker and it leads to divorce and distraught kids? Ok, so would you consider that a “good” movie? Would you also consider it good if any of those scenarios happened to you or someone you love? If you have a sound mind, you just answered “no” to the last question. Well those scenarios in the movie would play over and over in my head. So by the time I was dating Marcus, I had already had years of messed up thinking because I had allowed myself to become influenced in the area of relationships by movies that were not uplifting. Marcus can vouch for my craziness cause I would often question him about stuff that was not reality. I even woke up from a dream (that was based on a movie I had just watched and I punched him to wake him up, asking him who so and so was. He laughed at me and turned around and went back to sleep. So here’s the thing. When you fill yourself with crap… it stays and grows until it gets out of control and death is the result. I could have killed our relationship, but instead after a while I took that crap to God. I stopped watching Lifetime, even if it was a biography.
ACTION: I stopped watching Lifetime and any movie that I know was not uplifting or healthy. I had to make a choice…I either wanted peace or I wanted to stay wondering and making up falsehoods in my head about what my husband was doing when we were not together. I would have ultimately drove him to resent me and not want to be around me.
NOW: So after having an internal mental/emotional battle of dwelling on those, I confessed it to Marcus when he got back from work. In the past I would have kept it to myself and then exploded, but this time I approached him by telling him about my day and listening to words of encouragement from him. He immediately prayed over me, and specifically that we both seek Christ and honor Him in all of our relationships, whether with each other, relatives, coworkers, and whomever.
So now I am choosing not to forget what I must do…I must take EVERY thought captive that does not agree with Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Staying tuned into God, no matter what!!!
Photo: Courtesy of Freedom In Christ Ministries and its founders, the lovely couple David and Ellyse Campbell! Check them out, God is really moving in and through them. They’re unique photo illustrations are encouraging and uplifting!! After seeing the photo above about the new man and old man, it encouraged me to share what I went through yesterday.