After reading several posts on Facebook about true friendships, it had me examine my own experiences. I am following an organizaton on Facebook entitled Moms Together, and they focus on encouraging and uplifting moms from all walks of life. At this very moment in my life I may have about 3 women that I consider friends, but we are not able to hang out at the moment. (They all live in different cities than I). They are all believers of Christ and I pray with at least one of them when we are able to talk.
Having friends has always been something that I desired, yet never really had. I used to envy people who were friends since elementary school because I desired that too. I had a set of friends in elementary school but when junior high came…friendships dwindled. I only had one friend in junior high, but we ended up at different high schools. I had several people I considered friends in high school, but when I went off to college we stopped talking and other situations occurred that led to the end of one. I figured I just did not know how to choose friends because once again in college I had a couple of people I considered close friends, but after a few years those relationships ended. WHile in undergrad, I endured a couple of years where I always felt lonely because I did not have anyone to hang out with and the only person I talked on the phone with was my mom. She advised me during that time that maybe God was wanting me to get to know Him better with no distractions, for me to put my focus on Him.
After my now husband (then boyfriend) and I joined a church, we tried to make friends with those in our age group. We started going to a small group for young people and got involved in the church, but it seemed that the more involved we got, the less interested the people in our age group were of us. We actually got closer to people who are around our parents and grandparents’ age groups. We did meet two couples through going to small groups that we were getting close to, but one couple moved to another state and then after a while the Lord had us relocate to another area.
Now I am a wife and mother of two, and still do not have those true friends that I can do life with each week. But the difference now is that I have stopped putting my focus on that and have turned to God to fill that void. I do consider my husband a great friend, my best friend, yet there are things he may not understand because he is not a woman. Personally I believe that everyone should have at least one or two people they consider true friends outside of family.
I guess this post is more of a share/vent type of post. Maybe you too have been through similar situations and desire to have friends. I’m going to use my sister in Christ’s (Heather Lindsey) stance on friendships and choose to seek God on whom I should do life with because I do not want someone that is unhealthy to my family or myself. So “no randoms” in friendships as well. (Mrs. Lindsey has an organization called Pinky Promise, and takes a stand against having people in one’s life that contradicts God’s plan for one’s life). I would rather not have any friends, than to have a someone that is going to be toxic to me or my family.
For more information about No Randoms check out Heather Lindsey’s blog…life changing! Her blog has even encouraged me in the areas of marriage and friendships and still does!
For more information on Heather Lindsey: