Feeling Helpless No More: How It All Began

Continuing with this Series of “Helpless No More” a life lesson on forgiveness. 

Warning: Mature Content

It began when I was about 7 yrs old.  I remember spending weekends at the babysitters house, I enjoyed going over there but one day I came home and things were different.  The baby-sitter’s dad actually brought me home that day.  When I walked inside of the house I immediately noticed that broken eggs were on the kitchen floor, the house was dark, things where out of place as if a scuffle had taken place, and the mood was gloomy.  After I entered the house my mom came to me and I immediately asked her about the eggs, knowing something was wrong but not quite sure what.  I knew that my mom would never leave broken eggs on the floor, so I asked her if everything was ok and if she wanted me to clean them up.  She told me everything was fine and she would get it.  As much as people try to hide things from children, they still know when something is wrong in home or with their parents.

The next time I stayed over the baby-sitter’s house for the weekend, I returned home to find my mother with a dark red spot on the white part of her eye, as if blood had been poured onto her eye.  I asked her about it and she told me that she tripped and hit her eye on the corner of the counter.  I told her that she was lucky her eye didn’t get poked out because the corner was very sharp.  I could not figure out how see hit the counter without losing an eye, it didn’t add up.  After that I stopped going to the baby-sitter’s house, I told the Dad that did not want to go any more because every time I go things are different in a bad way when I come home.  His response was that he knew and understood.

The truth behind these events were later told to me and I warn you it may be too graphic for some.  My mom and her live-in boyfriend were outside late one night coming from a friend’s.  They had a disagreement.  She said what she wanted and began to walk away, all of a sudden she heard something coming up from behind her.  When she looked back to see what it was, she saw him running toward her and then he clotheslined her on the concrete sidewalk and proceeded to punch her.  Her so-called friend who she knew for many years grabbed her boyfriend’s hand and told him that he didn’t need to do that there.  What???  So, when he grabbed her boyfriend’s hand, my mom ran all the way home and of course he followed behind her.  When I returned home from the babysitters, what I was seeing was the result of these beatings.

Ladies if you are in an abusive relationship please get out and seek help.  What starts as a leaky faucet will eventually become a flood.  If he will do it once please believe he will do it again.  He cannot change in own strength and you cannot change him.  Your life is too precious.

My lesson of forgiveness comes from learning to forgive this man of his past failures and offenses.  Psalms 103:8 says “the Lord is compassionate, merciful, patient, and always ready to forgive.” After meeting my beautiful wife, I sought God on molding me to be like him and for him to form me into the man he desires.  I knew that I could never grow into the man God destined me to be unless I took the stance on forgiveness as Jesus.  Holding on to it will never hurt them, it only hurts you.  Unforgiveness is like drinking poison hoping that somebody else dies. Please forgive.

I pray this post blesses you.

God Bless,



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