Feeling Helpless No More

Over these next few weeks and months I will divulge more of my life as a youth.  This is the beginning of a series about my childhood that shows how God can turn around any situation. I pray that my life experiences encourages you.

WARNING: Somewhat mature content.

I grew up seeing my mom continuously go through an abusive relationship for many years.  Year after year she went through this relationship and it progressively became worse.  During one late night I began to hear my mother’s voice, I remember thinking as usual, I hope he is not hitting her again.  So, I stood at the top of the stairs to listen and this time something seemed different.  I begin to listen closer hoping that whatever was going on would stop. Then, I heard my mom pleading for him to stop and then he told her to shut up and hold still.  She pleaded and pleaded, telling him that he was hurting her asking him to stop once more.  I suddenly realized that this man who had been living with us for many years and fathered my mother’s other children, was actually raping her.  My mom was raped and I could do nothing to help.  I began to hear a thudding sound as his fist made contact with head over and over again.  He was telling her to move again or he would break her neck.  I knew at that time I was too young to physically confront a grown man.  I felt helpless, helpless to save her, helpless to stop him.  So, I began thinking of ways to rid my mother of this man.  But God intervened… that story is for a later post. I truly thank God that before I was able to carry out my plan God physically moved us from that state, down to South Carolina.

I  could have allowed that horrible experience to negatively define the man that I would become, but through Jesus I am now able to help others in a way I never thought possible, to help young men and women overcome brings me much joy.  After experiencing a childhood such as that, I grew up with a desire for something more and in Christ that desire was fulfilled.  As long as I set out in my own strength to not be like the man I saw as I grew up, I was destined to follow that course, but once Jesus entered my heart, I gave that part of my life over to Him and asked Him to teach me to be a Godly husband, father, and man.  In Christ I have found hope and can now be a Godly influence, but first I had to forgive this man that hurt my mom for so many years. “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive you.  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).  In order to become the man God has destined me to be, I had to definitely forgive.

I want to encourage every reader.  Is there something that has effected you that you are letting control your future, do not let your past define you, do not strive to change your course in your own strength.  Allow God to mold you into your persona, how He sees you, and once you do all helplessness will cease to exist.

Please feel free to comment and let me know that this is a blessing to you. I would like to know what is on the readers’ minds and hearts.

God bless you!
Marcus

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One thought on “Feeling Helpless No More

  1. Chrystal says:

    I am so touched and moved right now. I admire how you allowed God to rule over your life and make you the remarkable young man that I am proud to call my brother-in-law and friend!

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